I don’t know what I am going to write about nor have any ground to plug in the charger, put on the laptop and open blank Ms. Word file at this odd hour. What am I supposed to write? Since I already have a preset resolution of writing at least 15 blogs in 2019, am I getting cajoled by it? I am not sure.
(10:52 pm, 8th February 2019) I am feeling somewhat tipsy after consuming a few cups of locally brewed wine, so lots of subjects are avalanching my emotion and provoking me to write but where is the insight? My bits of knowledge is limited and confined only to certain areas and it doesn’t agree to explore and go beyond it. Moreover, my skills are limited only to writing anecdotes.
I am just an ordinary dude who only knows to pour an emotion that strikes. The pouring of emotion turns successful only if you have good insights about the subject otherwise the very purpose for writing would be defeated and be futile. So, what am I supposed to write? For now, I feel like to pour out all the emotions that are brewing inside me for long period, maybe I am kind of tipsy to remember all of these suddenly.
I want to write about my personal life because nowadays lots of events are unfolding and evolving around me, to say that I am not at all going to brief the readers about my downfall, shortfall or any deprivation because I am yet to confront all these because of the blessing and grace of Almighty God and the prayers of my parents that I am put into always. If not these, what should I write about?
Okay, I have got a subject to write; let’s write randomly, and please bear with me. Maybe about marriage and career (mine).
- Marriage
We live in a society where one is interested in knowing insights about the affairs of others rather than trying to own their own affairs that are on the brink of collapsing. Seriously we need to change that mindset and let other people live on their own term, why bother? Every time the talk of marriage pops up, I become the easy target. Lots had been said, justified yet I am not ready to buy their logic, for I know what’s best for me and in the business of my life.
We are accustomed to asking questions, For instance, right after graduation people are interested to know the Job their counterpart is a success in grabbing, the salary and other entitlement. After that, when are you going to marry? Why do they even need to worry about others when they have contributed zero in others life? We only have questions, we lack respect and are bereft of human values.
Nonetheless, I am aware of some friends of mine who do not fall under these categories, I genuinely respect them. Keep practicing the same, mates.
Many of my comrades have become parents, what am I doing? My not so confident intuition murmurs- may be waiting for right or something else? Hmmm – I would rather say I am not very confident in marriage due to the fact that I believe and my belief states that marriage is for eternal and not for a few months, or for sexual pleasure. Moreover, there are lots of attributes that are important to be incepted to inculcate a successful marriage. Somehow, I am failing to see and understand all these in today’s generation and due to all these, I am depriving myself to fall prey to this mayhem at least for now.
I am kind of introvert man, to say that I express less and mostly keeps my opinion to myself. I am kind of reserved person. People may mock or troll me for holding these traits, but that’s the truth and can’t be outdone too easily. nonetheless, will absolutely try to disown this trait of mine.
Do I sound rude when I professed all this? Maybe but facts be told. Nevertheless, I will get married one day but definitely not the infatuating marriage rather an eternal and for all time to come. Sometimes I feel insecure that I might have preconceived the negative notion about marriage that I have been successful in living all myself until now. Hope I am proved wrong.
I condemn those people who always justify getting married early by correlating children education and retirement age. if it was said a few decades ago, It might have sound logical but not now. If it’s proven, I may resort to marriage, since it’s all based on hearsay, I agree to live as it is until the time comes.
There are lots of reason for not attempting to get married yet. I am going to reserve other reasons to myself for now because these would literally spill the beans.
- Career:
Handsome investment had been in education, today it is almost 8 months since my graduation. I don’t have any dream envisioned or way forward. I am totally waiting for faith to direct me and being ready to follow his lead, and am ready to inject the hard work that is demanded. My faith is not favoring or alarming me as of now nor I am putting any effort to it but I am positive that it will ring one day when the weather is clear. For now, I am not in haste to make a quick decision to ruin my life.
Having said that, I am sure that my current profession isn’t my destiny. I am bound and made to be bigger than this. I am not bragging but these attitudes keep me alive and clear the path to a successful life. Maybe I am indicating towards career swap. Time will reveal and disclose everything.
After having read lots of inspirational books, lots of positive attitudes have been instilled in me and all these are so precious. People might refer to “ego” to dream big and placing thyself on top (some people already calls me ego for that). But I don’t buy their opinions because their talks only suck the positive energy that had been injected after many failed attempts.
Challenging yourself to grow isn’t ego, rather its development. Having the greed and being obsessed with victory even at the cost of someone’s life and welfare, belittling, outcasting them are the the traits of egomaniac. Never in million years to come, I would practice and capitalize on such a plan because it’s beyond my belief and principles.
I always believe that investment in education is never worthless, and I hope I am proved right. For now, I am making good use of my current job and exploring the means to learn new things and to expand the width of my knowledge.
By mid-2020, it will be 10 years into civil servants. Maybe my destiny will be rewritten post that year and faith takes me under his guidance. For now, I am assembling all the attitudes, gear, kits that are needed to realize my dream. But what’s my dream?
Disclaimer: This article is solely my opinion and doesn’t intend to defame anyone. any resemblance is strictly coincidental.
Thanks for reading.
Phurpa's diary 